I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
