trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
