so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
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