You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize