I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My liver just had a heart attack.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
