i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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