i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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