Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize