i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
