About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Your cock deserves a montage
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
