Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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