Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We talked him into tasing himself.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
