Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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