Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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