guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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