ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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