My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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