You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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