I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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