did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize