i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
