Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It's Friday. Sex?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
