My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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