Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
