Swine flu. Run for my life!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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