your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
