I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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