doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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