I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize