So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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