and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
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he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
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Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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