ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
