bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i now understand why vodka
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
