omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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