oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize