I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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