You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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