Do you still have your period?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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