I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
