We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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