All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just cropdusted the office
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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