Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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