covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
