Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
