you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
