epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So many bounce houses so little time
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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