if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Someone came in the potted fern
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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