the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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