I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
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I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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