Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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