just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He has the fingertips of a God
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
