i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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