# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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