My underwear smells like fireworks.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
