I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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