if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I believe in your delicious
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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