What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
