I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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