you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
