And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
