I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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