he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
