we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
