I skipped work to stalk him.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
