Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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